Ramadan ends today.
Had such an enlightening month.
Huge family gathering tomorrow...[sigh] I L0VE being with my family.
=)
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
[Exhale]
The importance of school rarely slips my mind.
There are certain moments where I wish I was back into the modeling scene, but those moments last milliseconds.
For as long as I can remember, I have always valued my education.
I was extremely close to having my academic career flushed down the toilet recently and I must admit that I saw my life flash before my eyes.
If school was so "important" to me, how could I be in such a situation??
If I was expelled or suspended from school, what could I possibly tell my parents who pay my tuition 100% out of pocket? How could I possibly explain that to them? My parents who worked so hard to raise brilliant, God-fearing, family orientated, kindhearted children. Parents who put every ounce of their energy into their children. What could I possibly say to them?
I wouldn't be able to utter a word in a situation like that.
Needless to say, I am not only shocked but embarrassed to be in a situation like this this late in my college career and at this age! I know better, much better than what I showcased!! Although I cannot control other people, I must learn to diffuse situations regardless of what other people have to say. The fact of the matter is: My education means the world to me and I have worked long and hard to get to where I am right now and nothing is going to take that away.
I was blessed enough to not to be expelled or suspended from school, but what if I had not of been? I keep thinking about that over and over and I am truly disappointed in myself. Although I know that I cannot dwell in the past, I need a little bit of time to accept it and move on.
[sigh]
<----Gotta get it "together"!!
There are certain moments where I wish I was back into the modeling scene, but those moments last milliseconds.
For as long as I can remember, I have always valued my education.
I was extremely close to having my academic career flushed down the toilet recently and I must admit that I saw my life flash before my eyes.
If school was so "important" to me, how could I be in such a situation??
If I was expelled or suspended from school, what could I possibly tell my parents who pay my tuition 100% out of pocket? How could I possibly explain that to them? My parents who worked so hard to raise brilliant, God-fearing, family orientated, kindhearted children. Parents who put every ounce of their energy into their children. What could I possibly say to them?
I wouldn't be able to utter a word in a situation like that.
Needless to say, I am not only shocked but embarrassed to be in a situation like this this late in my college career and at this age! I know better, much better than what I showcased!! Although I cannot control other people, I must learn to diffuse situations regardless of what other people have to say. The fact of the matter is: My education means the world to me and I have worked long and hard to get to where I am right now and nothing is going to take that away.
I was blessed enough to not to be expelled or suspended from school, but what if I had not of been? I keep thinking about that over and over and I am truly disappointed in myself. Although I know that I cannot dwell in the past, I need a little bit of time to accept it and move on.
[sigh]
<----Gotta get it "together"!!
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Promiscuity
How ironic...I wrote about being promiscuous a few days ago and Tyra Banks had an episode today about being promiscuous and how troubling it can be for a young lady's future.
There was a 14 year old girl on there that had sex to feel better about herself.She brought her mother on the show to share her secrets and you can tell her mother was beyond overwhelmed and hurt. She had no idea what was going on and it seemed to crush her. Not that I didn't know about how teens are pressured to have sex, but apparently pressure for sex has gotten worse.
14? I couldn't believe my ears. Fourteen? I understand her mothers distress. I'm not a mother, but I understand the importance of treating and knowing that ones body is priceless. As much as the young girl thought that she was "in control" (<----funny, she used that too!), she was far from being in control. Promiscuity rarely starts when young ladies are 19, 20, 21. It's not something that happens RANDOMLY. It's learned and practiced behavior. It's something that people have been doing for a long time. Long enough to think that it's working out, long enough to think that nothing is wrong with what they're doing. Different kinds of emotions ran through me as I watched this young girl. I have never had what most would call casual sex. It's never been that serious to me and I dont think will ever be. But then again, I wasn't raised to really think of sex like that and never had the urge to be sexual. Personally, I always wanted to be that brilliant, beautiful wife who explored sex with her husband. Not to say that I haven't made the mistake of thinking that premarital sex was ok, but I'm 21 now. Of course, thats not old but, it's old enough to have it together in that area.
Back to this 14 year old girl. She was talking about how much pressure she gets from other people and how she didn't really want to do it but she didn't want people to dislike her. I wanted her to know that no matter what she did or didn't do, some people will disliker her. There's only so much you can do and after that, its out of your hands. It takes a very weak person to dislike someone for silly reasons and it takes a stronger person to let things go and live their own life. She's 14, life hasn't even started yet, lol!! Bottom line, its foolish and a waste of energy and time. You dont want to have sex, dont have sex. Who made them the sex police? lol...besides, good girls sit like: X(closed legs) and bad girls sit like this: I I(open legs)
lmao. Okay, okay....but serious though, do whatever you makes you happy because at the end of the day, you must sleep with yourself. Twisted individuals will believe what they want whether or not you're doing it. Sex should be cherished. I'm glad she realized that at such a young age. =)
Makes me happy.
There was a 14 year old girl on there that had sex to feel better about herself.She brought her mother on the show to share her secrets and you can tell her mother was beyond overwhelmed and hurt. She had no idea what was going on and it seemed to crush her. Not that I didn't know about how teens are pressured to have sex, but apparently pressure for sex has gotten worse.
14? I couldn't believe my ears. Fourteen? I understand her mothers distress. I'm not a mother, but I understand the importance of treating and knowing that ones body is priceless. As much as the young girl thought that she was "in control" (<----funny, she used that too!), she was far from being in control. Promiscuity rarely starts when young ladies are 19, 20, 21. It's not something that happens RANDOMLY. It's learned and practiced behavior. It's something that people have been doing for a long time. Long enough to think that it's working out, long enough to think that nothing is wrong with what they're doing. Different kinds of emotions ran through me as I watched this young girl. I have never had what most would call casual sex. It's never been that serious to me and I dont think will ever be. But then again, I wasn't raised to really think of sex like that and never had the urge to be sexual. Personally, I always wanted to be that brilliant, beautiful wife who explored sex with her husband. Not to say that I haven't made the mistake of thinking that premarital sex was ok, but I'm 21 now. Of course, thats not old but, it's old enough to have it together in that area.
Back to this 14 year old girl. She was talking about how much pressure she gets from other people and how she didn't really want to do it but she didn't want people to dislike her. I wanted her to know that no matter what she did or didn't do, some people will disliker her. There's only so much you can do and after that, its out of your hands. It takes a very weak person to dislike someone for silly reasons and it takes a stronger person to let things go and live their own life. She's 14, life hasn't even started yet, lol!! Bottom line, its foolish and a waste of energy and time. You dont want to have sex, dont have sex. Who made them the sex police? lol...besides, good girls sit like: X(closed legs) and bad girls sit like this: I I(open legs)
lmao. Okay, okay....but serious though, do whatever you makes you happy because at the end of the day, you must sleep with yourself. Twisted individuals will believe what they want whether or not you're doing it. Sex should be cherished. I'm glad she realized that at such a young age. =)
Makes me happy.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Basketball season is AGGRESSiVE.
I'm not a huge sports fan.
Buttt, I [♥] track and Basketball.
The Celtics and Lakers only.lol. BEFORE you attempt to jump down my throat, YES I understand they are Rivals. If it came down to it, I'd choose the Celtics without a doubt. Although both teams are amazing, I [♥] my Celtics.
So, its BBall playoff time and it seems like people have gone Ape-ish!
Completely losing their minds & morals. (Morals, who has those anymore anyway right? I know!)
I'm all for friendly rivalry but there's nothing friendly about what these "fans" are saying. ha.
It's a bit humorous, but seriously though, when did the Rockets start paying people's tuition/rent/daycare bill?
................I'll wait.
I know there's at least one of you guys out there.
Ok, so there isn't. Now, can you explain to me what the big deal is? Why are Rockets fans angry and going bananas? I understand it's been 12 very long years but WHOA! I can't log onto my facebook page without seeing:
"adsf@#!! the Lakers, Kobe is a !@#&%!#"
"Who gives a $a#@!$df@# about those cheating, sorry, stupid, %$@#! Lakers?!?!"
"Lakers %4a!@df@#$!! as&ggv%$asd@!3#"
....whoa. Really though? Isn't it just a game? Wouldn't your life continue whether they win or not? You'd still have the same relationship, school, job situation as before, so whats the big deal? Crazy people. Didn't they warn us about tactless facebook status and potential employers looking through them?
Another thing I don't understand about this whole GoRockets thing is how people feel as though you HAVE to go for your hometown team. WTH is that about? Do I have to live in LA or Boston to like the teams? Boy I tell you, people feel the need to control every aspect of other peoples lives. lol. Now, I'm going to have to relocate because I love the Jamaican Olympic track team.
Get out of here. I say you root for whomever you feel is the best team and go get some anger management classes for those loved ones that hate how they can't control your out of state TEAM SPiRiT! lol.
Buttt, I [♥] track and Basketball.
The Celtics and Lakers only.lol. BEFORE you attempt to jump down my throat, YES I understand they are Rivals. If it came down to it, I'd choose the Celtics without a doubt. Although both teams are amazing, I [♥] my Celtics.
So, its BBall playoff time and it seems like people have gone Ape-ish!
Completely losing their minds & morals. (Morals, who has those anymore anyway right? I know!)
I'm all for friendly rivalry but there's nothing friendly about what these "fans" are saying. ha.
It's a bit humorous, but seriously though, when did the Rockets start paying people's tuition/rent/daycare bill?
................I'll wait.
I know there's at least one of you guys out there.
Ok, so there isn't. Now, can you explain to me what the big deal is? Why are Rockets fans angry and going bananas? I understand it's been 12 very long years but WHOA! I can't log onto my facebook page without seeing:
"adsf@#!! the Lakers, Kobe is a !@#&%!#"
"Who gives a $a#@!$df@# about those cheating, sorry, stupid, %$@#! Lakers?!?!"
"Lakers %4a!@df@#$!! as&ggv%$asd@!3#"
....whoa. Really though? Isn't it just a game? Wouldn't your life continue whether they win or not? You'd still have the same relationship, school, job situation as before, so whats the big deal? Crazy people. Didn't they warn us about tactless facebook status and potential employers looking through them?
Another thing I don't understand about this whole GoRockets thing is how people feel as though you HAVE to go for your hometown team. WTH is that about? Do I have to live in LA or Boston to like the teams? Boy I tell you, people feel the need to control every aspect of other peoples lives. lol. Now, I'm going to have to relocate because I love the Jamaican Olympic track team.
Get out of here. I say you root for whomever you feel is the best team and go get some anger management classes for those loved ones that hate how they can't control your out of state TEAM SPiRiT! lol.
Monday, May 4, 2009
[♥] Self-worth........Its PRICELESS
If it's one thing that is absolutely disgusting to me, its a woman who thinks being a "freak" is going to keep her man or makes her the "better woman".
News Flash: He's N0T UR HUSBAND. Do you know what that means?
What delusional planet are you living on?
How OLD are we?
Are we still using SEX/being promiscuous as a way to boost self-esteem?
Who DOES THAT?!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING??
Since when did FORNICATION become something one showcases? No matter what religion you identify with, one thing that is not tolerated is FORNICATION and promiscuity. So, save me the nonsense and foolish responses.
Save me the foolishness about "exploring" and how it's your "personality" , how you're "young and just making mistakes" and how you're in "control" because if it's one thing you are NOT in, is control. H0w old are you? WHY are you still making the same mistakes and not learning from them? How am I suppose to respect you when you don't even respect your body?
Since when did hell become a vacation spot? Who am I to say who's going to hell and who isn't? No one. But I'll tell you this, at the rate you're going, you're on a fast track program.
Self-esteem and self actualization seems to be lacking in everyday young ladies. I hear girls talking about how they have that "good" or how they "take care of business".
Let me tell you who else won't forget...........YUP, YOU GUESSED IT.
God himself.
Try explaining to him how in your "earthly life" you PUT IT DOWN and your man just couldn't get enough, his ex's or current girlfriends couldn't compare. Go ahead tell him and let me know how that works out.
Since when did selling your soul for sin become a badge of honor?
Okay, so you're not "religious" right? You don't want to hear about sins because "everyone sins". Apparently you don't understand that respect is just the minimum.
What went wrong in your life that took away your desire to cherish your body? Are you not worth the respect? When it's over, what did you really gain?
Here's a dose of medication for you: If you aren't worried about your afterlife, you should be. And if you still don't care, understand that no sincere/honest man will marry you. If your choice is to be single, that's even better. The last thing we need are good men marring women with baggage.
[♥] Understanding ur self-worth=Priceless.
News Flash: He's N0T UR HUSBAND. Do you know what that means?
What delusional planet are you living on?
How OLD are we?
Are we still using SEX/being promiscuous as a way to boost self-esteem?
Who DOES THAT?!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING??
Since when did FORNICATION become something one showcases? No matter what religion you identify with, one thing that is not tolerated is FORNICATION and promiscuity. So, save me the nonsense and foolish responses.
Save me the foolishness about "exploring" and how it's your "personality" , how you're "young and just making mistakes" and how you're in "control" because if it's one thing you are NOT in, is control. H0w old are you? WHY are you still making the same mistakes and not learning from them? How am I suppose to respect you when you don't even respect your body?
Since when did hell become a vacation spot? Who am I to say who's going to hell and who isn't? No one. But I'll tell you this, at the rate you're going, you're on a fast track program.
Self-esteem and self actualization seems to be lacking in everyday young ladies. I hear girls talking about how they have that "good" or how they "take care of business".
Let me tell you who else won't forget...........YUP, YOU GUESSED IT.
God himself.
Try explaining to him how in your "earthly life" you PUT IT DOWN and your man just couldn't get enough, his ex's or current girlfriends couldn't compare. Go ahead tell him and let me know how that works out.
Since when did selling your soul for sin become a badge of honor?
Okay, so you're not "religious" right? You don't want to hear about sins because "everyone sins". Apparently you don't understand that respect is just the minimum.
What went wrong in your life that took away your desire to cherish your body? Are you not worth the respect? When it's over, what did you really gain?
Here's a dose of medication for you: If you aren't worried about your afterlife, you should be. And if you still don't care, understand that no sincere/honest man will marry you. If your choice is to be single, that's even better. The last thing we need are good men marring women with baggage.
[♥] Understanding ur self-worth=Priceless.
Saturday, May 2, 2009
What about your friends?
Despite what many people say....
Everyone yearns for the one friend that is reliable, caring, and unquestionably genuine.
A friend is someone who you share a healthy relationship with. A healthy, balancing relationship.
Over the past years, I've had my share of friends.
The ones you allow to stay over/ live at your house, eat your food, wear your clothes, borrow your make up--and you don't mind because you're "friends".
The ones you pay for to eat, buy drinks for, get their nails & eyebrows done because they don't ever have the money.
The one who's eyes you wipe & sob stories you listen to because you genuinely care about them even though its 5am & you have an exam at 8.
The ones you lend money to, that never pay you back, but you trusted would.
The ones that---well, you get the picture!
Those people?
Yea, ummm...not the healthy friendships I'm talking about.
The one thing that boggles my mind is the inconsiderate, ungrateful, completely disturbing behavior of these individuals. How can you mistreat someone who treated you like family when your family went Houdini on you?
How the hell does that even work?
The icing on the cake is when they act as if they don't know what they did wrong and they sincerely believe that they were right about what they did and the way they treated you.
GET OUT OF HERE. Are you serious?? It never occurred to you that you are selfish, overbearing, needy, a nagger, a leach, a pain, ungrateful...etc? Sure it has. It has to have crossed your mind at one point in time.
My take on the situation?
I suppose most people do not know how to have healthy relationships simply because they've never been in a healthy relationship before. Not with family, friends, lovers--no one. Thus, they live life with a distorted vision of friendship. Their expectations for friends are unrealistic. Then you have those that don't care at all about their behavior and do it simply because they want to. Sounds silly, I know. But think about it. Who even borrows money or something from someone and genuinely forgets? No one. You either remember to return it, show gratitude, or act as if it never happened. That's what those individuals do. They act as if it never happened.
I've learned to let go of those cancerous relationships. You can't save everyone and you can't make people kind, honest and trustworthy. Everyone gets a cancerous friend in the lifetime and I don't know about everyone else, but I'm tired of being superwoman.
Neither my heart nor my pocketbook is big enough!
Everyone yearns for the one friend that is reliable, caring, and unquestionably genuine.
A friend is someone who you share a healthy relationship with. A healthy, balancing relationship.
Over the past years, I've had my share of friends.
The ones you allow to stay over/ live at your house, eat your food, wear your clothes, borrow your make up--and you don't mind because you're "friends".
The ones you pay for to eat, buy drinks for, get their nails & eyebrows done because they don't ever have the money.
The one who's eyes you wipe & sob stories you listen to because you genuinely care about them even though its 5am & you have an exam at 8.
The ones you lend money to, that never pay you back, but you trusted would.
The ones that---well, you get the picture!
Those people?
Yea, ummm...not the healthy friendships I'm talking about.
The one thing that boggles my mind is the inconsiderate, ungrateful, completely disturbing behavior of these individuals. How can you mistreat someone who treated you like family when your family went Houdini on you?
How the hell does that even work?
The icing on the cake is when they act as if they don't know what they did wrong and they sincerely believe that they were right about what they did and the way they treated you.
GET OUT OF HERE. Are you serious?? It never occurred to you that you are selfish, overbearing, needy, a nagger, a leach, a pain, ungrateful...etc? Sure it has. It has to have crossed your mind at one point in time.
My take on the situation?
I suppose most people do not know how to have healthy relationships simply because they've never been in a healthy relationship before. Not with family, friends, lovers--no one. Thus, they live life with a distorted vision of friendship. Their expectations for friends are unrealistic. Then you have those that don't care at all about their behavior and do it simply because they want to. Sounds silly, I know. But think about it. Who even borrows money or something from someone and genuinely forgets? No one. You either remember to return it, show gratitude, or act as if it never happened. That's what those individuals do. They act as if it never happened.
I've learned to let go of those cancerous relationships. You can't save everyone and you can't make people kind, honest and trustworthy. Everyone gets a cancerous friend in the lifetime and I don't know about everyone else, but I'm tired of being superwoman.
Neither my heart nor my pocketbook is big enough!
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Vblog--3am Ramble about "unpleasant" individuals....
It's 3am...
Can't sleep, but I sure can VBLOG!
lol..he, he he...
Can't sleep, but I sure can VBLOG!
lol..he, he he...
Sunday, April 12, 2009
A VBlog From my nephews!
Children are great.
Having a child is something that God allows almost everyone to experience.
No matter how unfit a person is. Whether they are married or not...it's the one thing he allows almost everyone to be apart of.
So why can't people get it together?
Beats me.
This is a random video of my wonderful nephews and I spending some quality time! Kids are great I tell you!! Just true bundles of J0Y!
Having a child is something that God allows almost everyone to experience.
No matter how unfit a person is. Whether they are married or not...it's the one thing he allows almost everyone to be apart of.
So why can't people get it together?
Beats me.
This is a random video of my wonderful nephews and I spending some quality time! Kids are great I tell you!! Just true bundles of J0Y!
Friday, January 2, 2009
Why do I have so many.....
Freaking Blog sites?
I recently added this blog to my long list of active blogs mainly because I enjoy RAMBLiNG and ranting at times and what better way to do it than to have your very own SOAPBOX?!
My other blogs aren't as opinionated as this one is going to be for a number of reasons I do not care to list.
I will say that I plan on using this as a substitute xanga.
Xanga.com is a pretty awesome online diary/blog whatever you'd like to call it. I enjoyed it.
All throughout hs, I enjoyed it.
Until I got to college and it was used as a battle ground.
That made me sad. I was thinking: "wth".
It was my sanctuary and I felt as though it was ruined.
I must admit, I played into it after a while, but it was out of control.
I couldn't post my opinions on things I experienced during the day because people would take it personal. I couldn't write personal issues because people would try to use it against me.
It was just H0RRiBLE.
Now, I just blog about whatever the heck moves me.
....that makes me HAPPY! = )
I recently added this blog to my long list of active blogs mainly because I enjoy RAMBLiNG and ranting at times and what better way to do it than to have your very own SOAPBOX?!
My other blogs aren't as opinionated as this one is going to be for a number of reasons I do not care to list.
I will say that I plan on using this as a substitute xanga.
Xanga.com is a pretty awesome online diary/blog whatever you'd like to call it. I enjoyed it.
All throughout hs, I enjoyed it.
Until I got to college and it was used as a battle ground.
That made me sad. I was thinking: "wth".
It was my sanctuary and I felt as though it was ruined.
I must admit, I played into it after a while, but it was out of control.
I couldn't post my opinions on things I experienced during the day because people would take it personal. I couldn't write personal issues because people would try to use it against me.
It was just H0RRiBLE.
Now, I just blog about whatever the heck moves me.
....that makes me HAPPY! = )
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